| I guess my mind wanders off from time to time. |
[Jan. 4th, 2009|12:26 am] |
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Wow, I haven't posted in the longest time. I think I'm overdue for a nice deep post. Don't mind my ranting. Lately I have realized that friends are not everything in life. It is quality, not quantity when it comes to friends. Although having more friends might seem "cool", it is utterly and completely overrated. At the moment I currently have a few very good friends, and I am happier than ever. Don't let the crowd change you or your opinions, don't settle, and be your own person. The life lessons I have learned this month. My old friends were nothing like me. I don't know how I was ever happy just settling. The friends I have now have made my life so much more worth living, try it please. Where are all the decent people out there? They certainly are not over here, that is for sure. I wish there were some nice, friendly, interesting people here. Some that wouldn't mind have intellectual conversations with me or sharing a deep talk about Vampire Academy. Honestly, WHERE ARE YOU? Besides from a select few, the rest of the people I know can't hold any sort of conversation of substance. It is all about jokes and immaturity. I am so over it. I would like to converse with some decent people who wouldn't mind talking books with me. I can't wait until I graduate. Me and my closest friends are planning to backpack to Europe that summer. I am so completely excited, it's ridiculous. I need to get away and meet people. If you're interesting, find me. |
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| Touch, don't go. |
[Oct. 23rd, 2008|04:16 pm] |
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Hola senores! It's time for an update, since I haven't posted in a while. School is draining in every way possible. From PSAT/SAT to failing my AP/Honors classes. It's just terrible. Let's jump to a brighter note, shall we? This weekend is packed with oodles of goodness. Friday I am going to the mall to get last minute items for my Halloween costume =) I'm being my idol, William Eugene Beckett Jr. On Saturday I have to go pumpkin picking with my family but I have a Sweet Sixteen later on. Which is fine with me. I can't wait. It's at the melting pot place. Where it's like hella fondue everywhere. I'm just pumped. Next weekend is East Meadown Model Congress! Yay. It is also the day of the Young and Divine concert. How extremely excited am I? You have no idea whatsoever. So as you can see, I am bombarded with both good and bad feelings. I will not let bad feelings overcome me. I am past that. Stay happy :) |
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| Don't waste your time on me. |
[Oct. 12th, 2008|04:43 pm] |
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So in a few short minutes I will be on my way to go see Mayday Parade and All Time Low. I am so excited. I love both bands, so it should be wonderful. I hope to meet Jack Barakat and Jeremy Lenzo. Well, today was quite hectic. At 9 am I lost my tickets along with my friends tickets for the show tonight. After many hours of crying and throwing up, I called Ticketmaster and they sent me tickets through email. Thank god for those beautiful people that took pity on me, I love them. I have had such a hard day, so I'm hoping tonight will be just what I need. Let's hope. I wish Mayday Parade was playing "You'd be the Anchor..." but they aren't. Sucks already. I hope we aren't crazy late, which I am sure we will be. My life cannot get any better, let me tell you. Okay well I have to go finish up some things. TTYL. |
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| I want you to mean it. |
[Oct. 1st, 2008|10:57 am] |
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Honestly, I have no idea what is going on regarding my life, at the moment. I feel completely lost and alone, not a surprise. I'm so sick of putting everything into a friendship, and not getting anything in return. Why should I have to do all the work? It's just really getting to me, as it gets worse and worse. Lately, I am very rarely invited out, and I am left alone at home reading, lovely. Let me be the first to tell you, that it is not fun. On a lighter note, I am extremely excited for Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist to come out. I'm dying to see it, which I am, with my bookclub on Saturday. So pumped. I just got a new camera! It made me boring day so much better. I love it. Not to mention in about a week, is the All Time Low/Mayday Parade show! So I have some exciting shit going on. I shouldn't be complaining right? Well, nice try, cause I am almost always complaining. I wish I could stop. It's just a habit, that I really need to work on. I just want to be happy, and carefree. Be my friend? |
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| I-I-I need time. |
[Sep. 28th, 2008|01:46 pm] |
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So I am in a semi-amazing mood. Last night was amazing. I attended the Danger Radio/Red Car Wire concert at Vibe Lounge. Firt off, Amanda, Krystal, and I totally beat the system to get it. Honestly, they are retarded, it was almost too easy. But before we even got in we met Andrew from Danger Radio. He is so adorable. Then we went in and bought merch from Red Car Wire and chilled. Then some local band came on and they were alright I guess. Red Car Wire was next and they were amazing. Not to mention drop dead gorgeous in person. They were hysterical. We met Davey and then Evan. They were so sweet. Then Brighten and Farwell played while we went to meet Elan! I adore him, seriously. It was them most awkward thing, going over and talking to him, but in the end I sucked it up and went. He is even more perfect in person. I love him lots. Then Danger Radio played and it was FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. Like words do not describe how good they are. And Andrew spends most of the time in the crowd, interlocking hands with everyone. Might I add that for a few seconds mine and his hands were interlocked, I died. After their set we met the rest of the guys from Danger Radio and then headed out. Andrew didn't go an acoustic set, which made me extremely angry. So we went to the pizza place like down the block and ate a lot of food. It was a pretty sick night. Ah I need to go read Ragtime, bye! |
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| You keep messing with me, you keep messing with me. |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|05:50 pm] |
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So I am in quite an awesome mood at the moment. I am listening to my Danger Radio and "Googling" ideas for my Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist Book Club next Saturday. I am so excited, the movie looks amazing. Michael Cera! He is God. I kid you not. Next to William Beckett, Michael Cera is next on my fuck list. So tonight I am going to go see Eagle Eye. Shia here I come. And tomorrow is the Danger Radio concert. How freakin' pumped am I? I started loving them a little bit ago, and now I'm obsessed. It's crazy. I am currently reading this pretty good book called When it Happens and I like it a lot so far. I love how I should be reading my AP English books, but instead I read my leisure books. My average in that class will definitely be able to reflect this. But whatever, I honestly don't care. I am so over the school thing. Studying, dying in class, being bored as hell, and bitch ass teachers that need to shut the hell up. It's so ridiculous that I am forced to go to that shit hole every fucking day, meanwhile I am probably smarter than some of the population who already graduated college. That was not meant to be conceited, by the way. I just feel that if you are well-rounded and have a semi-educational background you should not be forced into 12 years of hell. If you are smart enough, college you should go. I wish I could skip High School. Most people wouldn't agree, but it's not fun for me at all. Too much work. Well I need to go get ready for Shia, have a nice night. |
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| No one can touch us. |
[Sep. 17th, 2008|05:42 pm] |
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| | Come Around (Acoustic)- Sing it Loud | ] |
I have a new found love for Sing it Loud. They are kick ass, legit. So I haven't posted in a while and I am due for a nice venting session. So today is pretty shitty. I think I give people my trust too easily. I have learned the hard way that not everyone is sincere. Some people I thought were my so-called friends, aren't? Who can you trust? I am just so confused and in need of some answers desperately. I hate feeling that people are fake towards me. It sucks. I rather see the good in people, but in cases like this, you just can't. That worries me. Friends. Such a vague term. At this point I'd say I don't have many. I have learned that I can only trust about 4 of them. On the brighter side of things, there are those 4 friends that I know have my back, and I love them. I guess I just have to look past the people that screw me over, and just focus on my true friends. It's harder that it sounds. To just forget about someone who meant so much to you. It's not easy, but at this point I have to do what's good for me. I can't dwell on the past, and care too much about people who don't give two shits about me. I need to move on. Help me? |
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| Your choice is the chance that you have to take. |
[Sep. 4th, 2008|09:33 pm] |
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Yet another day has gone by. I just want September to be over and for October to start. Today, I had to write an essay in one period in AP English on the worst book ever written, The Grapes of Wrath. I totally bullshitted it and I know I did horrible, oh well. I am looking forward to the coming months. So many concerts, exciting. The faster school is over, the better. I can't wait to see Young and Divine. I miss them. Have you seen 90210? If not, I highly advise you go watch it right now. It is so good. As well and Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill. All amazing. Project Runway is wonderful also. Blayne all the way, he's so awesome. Oh so I hate Demi Lovato, like so much. I just have to put that out there. She is like the one person I truly hate at the moment, terrible. I love The Academy Is..., if you didn't know, lol. What would I do without them? I'd have absolutely no life whatsoever. They are everything. I'm going to go watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 and then wait for Metro Station on Jimmy Kimmel. Peace. |
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| Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you? |
[Sep. 3rd, 2008|08:50 pm] |
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School is officially on, and I couldn't be more worried. My classes are so hard, and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I seriously have problems. My classes are fun though, and I have pretty good teachers. That's the only upside. Aside from that, school is fun. Except I hate waking up, like hardcore. It's probably the worst part of my whole day. I hate it. Oh today in homeroom Katie informed me that Demi Lovato has a crush on William Beckett and as soon as I got home from school I looked for the video in which she says this and I got so FURIOUS. Like really extremely mad. Demi can't like William Beckett, just no. Sorry. I hope I don't hurt her, cause that would be bad. Anyways, tomorrow I have to write an essay on The Grapes of Wrath and I'm freaking out. I might fail, stupid book. I must go study. TTYL. |
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| Graduate, paper chase we'll get out of this place. |
[Sep. 1st, 2008|08:39 pm] |
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School is tomorrow. I never though summer would fly by so fast. In a way I am excited, but at the same time I don't want responsibilities. I am not looking forward to the school aspect. Well we can't change that, so I'm just going to have to deal, as always. I just watched Gossip Girl and at the moment I am watching One Tree Hill, and both shows have started out the season AMAZINGLY. Like so great you have no idea. The Hills/Paranormal State is up next then Exiled. So I'm going to go watch mah shows and try to fall asleep early. I need to. |
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| These are the fast times. |
[Aug. 30th, 2008|02:33 pm] |
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Wow. 2 and a half days until I have to endure the pain of going back to school. How fast summer has went by. Although, I have so much to look forward to in the upcoming months, there is no greater disappointment then knowing that you will now be stuck in school for 10 months. It's sickening. To distract my sadness, in this blog I will talk about the things that I am looking forward to. So at the end of September my second favorite band, Young and Divine are coming to Wantagh. They are friends of ours after we met them in the hot tub at our hotel during Bamboozle. So I am really excited to see them again. Party. After that the next awesome thing would be going to see Mayday Parade and All Time Low in NYC. I love Mayday Parade, a lot. I can't wait to see them again. They are so amazing live. K also Nick and Norah's Infamous Playlist comes out in October. Yess. I love Michael Cera. Then we have The Academy Is... in November. How freaking excited am I? Since we are Santi's Little Helper's we have early entry to the show and a private Meet and Greet! I'm going to cry thinking about it. AH. Then in December is my birthday and Mike Carden's birthday AND Twilight the movie is coming out. Ah I am so excited. Now I took my mind off school and can be content with summer ending. I love livejournal, bye. |
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| Look like a lush. Talk like a tease. The way you like it. |
[Aug. 29th, 2008|08:26 pm] |
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Okay so today was probably one of the hardest days of my life. It's the 2 year anniversary of when my grandpa passed away, and I feel like a part of me is missing. For some reason the whole 2 year thing hit me harder than ever. It doesn't feel like it's been that long and to know that it actually has hurts. I honestly can say I have never cried this much, ever. We are going to the cemetery Sunday morning and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I miss him so much and no one will ever understand. He was legit the only person who would do ANYTHING for me. He loved me like no other, and I miss it. I never got to tell him how much I actually loved him, and now it's way to late. I will never forgive myself, ever. With everything that has happened to me the past week, I am a complete wreck. It's not like I have any friends to talk to, none of them want to listen, and I don't blame them. I'm a bore. Well I'm going to ponder life some more. Sweet Dreams. |
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| You've got everything going for so I'll go for with everything I've got. |
[Aug. 28th, 2008|04:52 pm] |
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Probably my favorite lyric of all time, not gunna lie. So I got my hair did today. It really wasn't fun. I read the entire time. I met some girls from Seaford, they were weird. It took up my whole day from 9-4. I couldn't be more tired right now. Last night I stayed up until 3 watching GREEK and Project Runway. BLAYNE! I really want him to win, but he won't. He's so funny, and his clothes are all urban-y. I love it. Anyway, I still have to watch Paranormal State. I think I'm going to a weekend thing for Paranormal State in October actually, with my mom. Finally I get to meet Ryan? Yeah I'll molest him or something. So I found out that one of my favorite bands ever, Young and Divine, are playing a show with The Cab. Which is AMAZING, for them. Last time I went to see them, me and a few friends were the only people there for them. They better remember us. I am officially addicted to Fast Times at Barrington High. I don't know why, but I am. I can't not listen to it. Last night I was going through withdrawal so I turned the alarm off, went in my basement to get my ipod speaker, went back upstairs to put the alarm on, all just so I could listen to it. For those of you who don't know, I'm lazy, and I have many stairs in my house. Something I would never do at 2 in the morning, but I did. Well my hand is hurting yet again. I'm going to go play Monopoly with my brother cause I have no friends. So yeah, peace out. |
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| These years we survived the ride that turned us inside out. |
[Aug. 27th, 2008|09:19 pm] |
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Okay second post of the day my friends. Nothing exciting has occurred between then and now. Only that I found out that I'm getting my hair re-done tomorrow. Probably the best news all day. Since I do not have friends, like we had previously discussed, I watched a movie with my family. It was called First Sunday. Kat Williams was in it, and I love him. He's hysterical. It wasn't the best movie ever, but I'll live. So today I was asked this question, "If you were stranded on an island with a fictional character, who would it be and why?". To be completely honest, I would have to say Edward Cullen. Anyone who has read Twilight would agree. I would be stranded on an island with Edward any day. He is probably the best fictional male character ever created. His love for Bella brings tears to my eyes. So yes it would be him. So there is only a few more days of summer and I still have to read The Grapes of Wrath and The Great Gatsby. I want to kill myself. It's just too much. AP English is not looking good as of right now, I want to drop out. Well, I shall update tomorrow when I get home from my hair appointment. Goodnight. |
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| Do you want me to stay? Do you want me to go? |
[Aug. 27th, 2008|01:21 pm] |
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Okay so the subjects for all of my entry's will be The Academy Is... lyrics from now on. So I had the urge to write early today because my day has got off to a bad start. I need to change things. My life need a turn around and I am going to do it right here right now. No longer will I let people walk all over me. That phase of my life is ending now. I have come to terms with myself that even though I don't have many friends the 2 that I have, mean the world to me and I rather have them, then a million crappy friends any day. I hate being depressed all the time. Feeling alone, and that no one could care less about me is a crappy feeling, and from now on I don't even want to feel that ever again. I won't let myself get upset over things such as people being rude to me. It's not happening anymore, I'm done. And I'm also done with trying so hard to help these so-called friends when they could care less about me if I am in the same situation. It's all over starting today. This is the new administration. [Fueled by Ramen rip, lol.] So I'll leave you with this. Soon I will be more mature and less willing to trust just anyone. It's going to be a new me. |
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| Your a stranger I know well; but not at all. |
[Aug. 26th, 2008|11:32 pm] |
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So this is day one on livejournal and I have to say that I am quite excited. I feel like William Beckett. Blogging my feelings like this. It's fun though. So today has been tough. I had some friend problems that were pushed aside once my computer made me aware of William Beckett baby rumors. I was extremely upset to say the least. He can't have a kid. It would ruin my whole master plan. So no, that can't happen. Yesterday was probably the worst day I've had all summer. After a few misunderstandings among friends, I was made out to be some sort of "bad guy" and to sum things up people upset me so much that I spent my night in bed listening to The Academy Is... crying. Fun? I think not. Thank god for TAI and Ashley Flynn or I'd still be laying in the fetal position, not wanting to talk to anyone ever. But that's over and done and I have new problems to sort through. I realized I don't have one friend that truly cares for me and that I could trust with everything. You know like the best friends you see on TV. Yeah I want one. Can God please send me one. I am in desperate need of an AMAZING friend right now. Well I'm going to leave you with that because my hands hurt and I'm dead tired. Until tomorrow. |
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